One of the benefits of getting to know people, online or in person is that you never know what lessons you are given, and new things you learn about yourself.
Today, someone I have been chatting with in a friendly and respectful way (yes, this is rare for online dating), asked the question: “What is one thing you hope happens in your life time”
I was stunned at how profound this question is amongst the many he has asked as I discover more about myself. My reply was the following:
“Your last question is really good.. not sure if I can admit it to myself what I really hope for in my lifetime as it seems too scary to say. But if I were to be honest, I guess to live without fear of tomorrow. Live as if I’ve never known anything but happiness. And to fall in love with myself everyday, even if sometimes there’s no one beside me to remind me of how awesome I really am.”
And yes, tears roll down my cheeks as I also wanted to add but didn’t, I really want to fall in love with someone who is like the love of my life, and to die happily. But I thought that would be too cheesy so decided to keep it light. Learning to hold myself back while also being vulnerable is the toughest balance in dating and meeting new people. Keeping my feelings in check while also letting myself feel something is like the greatest paradox.
But I have faith, with all the wonderful lessons I have learned and missteps I have taken, I will dance my way into my new song.