Things I would like to do in 2018

  1. Start my Smurfs jigsaw puzzle I bought last year.
  2. Worry less. Live more.
  3. Sketch stuff in pencil
  4. Take douchebags less personally
  5. Be kinder to myself
  6. Heal some childhood wounds
  7. Write more
  8. Sing more
  9. Stop being sick
  10. Visit Ontario maybe
  11. Allow myself to be proposed to even though I’d rather skip the legal stuff and just say we are married because we are, although some days I really miss being single and how much simpler it was to only worry about me
  12. Get over friendships that have gotten over me
  13. Let go of unnecessary memories
  14. Stop having nightmares about being late for work
  15. Stop having nightmares about overdue library books
  16. Drink coffee.
  17. Eat more yogurt.
  18. Find a vegetable I like
  19. Call my mom more
  20. Talk to myself more
  21. Enjoy the moment
  22. Crochet again
  23. Not lose my teeth
  24. Try to yell less at my hubby
  25. Maybe dust around the house
  26. Rest in a peaceful home
  27. Quit worrying about money too much
  28. Sleep more
  29. Exercise without killing myself
  30. Allow myself to make mistakes and see them for the positive learning experiences they are, even if others are weird about it
  31. Let go of false friends. No time for such nonsense.
  32. Get over my past and make room for an awesome future.
  33. Save some money. $500 would be nice.
  34. Stay on top of bills and reduce my debt.
  35. Listen without guessing
  36. Dance more
  37. Be happy with how perfect today is even though it seems to suck the life out of me some days
  38. Be less miserable about getting old and embrace the beauty that comes with age. Even the saggy parts and misshaped bits.
  39. Listen to intuition more and trust in myself despite self doubts
  40. Lastly, inspire others to greatness even if I’m not feeling so great all the time because one day that message will resonate within me too.

Ameen.

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Poosht

I don’t like being blamed for being sick. How I’m treated like a virus. Douches who say stuff like, “you been sick for four months.” I reply that I was better then got sick again thanks to the poor air quality of this place and constant frigid temperatures in the office that even five layers can’t cure. It seems to have gotten better lately.

Then you have prick man who makes fun of me for eating hot dogs for lunch. I can’t win. Steaks are too fru fru, hot dogs are too poor. How about everyone kiss my weiner.

Then you have ring leader who makes inappropriate comments all the time. Including the latest, “I feel sorry for you. Does he brush his teeth before he kisses you,” in referring to my smoking partner. I stated I have dated non-smokers who were cheating douche bags, so I’m pretty thankful to be with someone who cooks, cleans, is loyal etc instead. That seemed to have shut his trap.

Men are strange creatures. I don’t think I’ve ever quite understood such bizarre boyish behavior. Women can be catty and men can be mean.

Geezes.

Ease.

Ameen.

on a more positive note of encouragement I received today

awesome

This entry was posted on January 16, 2018. 2 Comments

Beefs

So my boss has been away on sick leave until end of Jan it looks like, possibly longer.

Now here comes the joy of HR and his replacement to inquire as to what do I do all the day as it seems lately I’ve had to justify how I spend my time despite taking on more tasks including the admin on mat leave and helping HR with grunt work.

It seems like the more productive you are, the more they expect. For the same low pay. I’m like, give me a dental plan please before my teeth fall out. Or, it would be nice to be paid when I’m sick or on vacation. As well, why don’t y’all do my job and see just how ‘easy’ it is.

What kills me is that the previous clerk did very little with most of his time spent watching YouTube, taking personal calls on his cell and doing newsletters on this computer. In addition, his accuracy and filing was negligible and attendance sporadic. You’d think with the revolving door they’ve had in here, they would just be happy to have someone in here. Five days a week, early mornings only for four hours has now been altered to be full days for me, and yet somehow it seems like they are questioning my cost. It’s like, hey, it isn’t my fault they do not wish to make this a permanent role and hence pay my temp agency a pile of fees, while I see a smaller sum.

New Year, new job? So far it seems to be a hopeful start but no calls yet for my sweetie. Who knows what the future brings. Appreciation would be great.

Ease. Ameen.

 

This entry was posted on January 5, 2018. 2 Comments

Onwards

And upwards. Woke up this morning to a lovely text from an old friend wishing me a Happy New Year. We chatted a bit and she revealed that despite my request to not talk about me with an old high school friend we shared, they did so anyways.

Thanks.

Apparently, old high school friend didn’t remember the reason for our falling out but no hard feelings.

Ah-hem.

I’m fine to forgive, but I have learned to not forget lest I be duped again into thinking people have changed. Whatever the altercation was, or misunderstanding as she so labeled it, I do remember how I felt receiving her nasty email telling me off after I had twice wished her well and to agree to disagree.

Perhaps high school needs to stay in high school.

I reminded my friend this and my response was met with silence.

Thanks.

Well, looks like some things stay in the past for a reason. And yes, I have the right to unfriend you on FaceBook when ya act like a skittle.

To a brand new 2018, and better beginnings from the endings we have left behind.

Ameen.

This entry was posted on January 1, 2018. 2 Comments

you don’t have to be perfect to be amazing

This quote really struck a chord with me today as I’ve been super stressed with work and the hustle before the holidays. So far, I think I’ve broken down crying thrice in my office, and just been way too hard on myself when it comes to mistakes.

It’s been an overload of work and unpaid days off beyond stats for the extra days our company is closed plus a trip to Manitoba to visit the in-laws make for a lot of stress. Add to that the irony of calculating pay for vacation requests, it’s like, stuff me in a stocking now.

Sweetie has been interviewing but no firm offers yet, so it also makes it hard to travel with confidence. Hopefully a holiday miracle will come our way.

Ease.

Ameen.

This entry was posted on December 21, 2017. 2 Comments

not very ladylike

It’s funny that when a male colleague cusses and swears, this is considered normal. But when I do it to express disdain and frustration, it was deemed “not very ladylike” but my colleague.

Ah hem.

Add to that their constant hinting at me to make them spring rolls even though I have made it clear my hubby does all the cooking, and I have to wonder… whatever happened to women being treated fairly?

When a man swears, he’s being a man. When a woman swears, she’s being vulgar. Really?

When a man cooks, is it too girly? When a woman cooks, why, it’s her responsibility.

Ugh.

Ease. Ameen.

P.S. ever since eating steaks at work, because they are cheap at Costco, I get made fun of for being a rich girl. I’m guessing being a temp means I’m not entitled to good food, perhaps only┬ánoodles and some soya sauce instead. Bahahaha… grr..

 

Babies and Bother

While most jokes are funny, my colleague today didn’t realize his comment stung a bit, unknowingly. I had confessed the idea of anyone at work depending on me scares me (especially as I’m just a temp), and he blurted, ‘that’s why you don’t have kids’. Or something to that effect.

I guess those with children don’t realize those without aren’t necessarily averse to having kids. Quite frankly, I’m a little sad each month we don’t. But at the same time relieved as we can barely afford to feed ourselves much less a cute little Whasian.

It’s funny how people assume all women can get pregnant, like a flip of a switch. Not sure when mine turned off. Perhaps a punishment for my abortion at 23? Or maybe it’s not written in the cards? Sometimes I wonder with the joblessness and childlessness if we are meant to be. But perhaps these are things we must face in life if we are to love beyond expectation.

That or taking care of each other in itself can be a chore. I like being a spoiled kid. And he requires nurturing too. Perhaps being young at heart means divulging in childlike wonder with the one you love.

Ease. Ameen.